FRIENDS

I have been doing alot of thinking in the last few weeks about the meaning of Friends and what they look like? What I mean by that is what does a real friend look like? Well to me a real friend is someone who is there for you no matter what's going on. A real friend respect the wishes of them and respects what they have asked. A real friend is someone who you can trust and count on. Real friends don't gossip or talk behind there backs.
I have had some friends tell me that I am not a true friend and that hurts because I am always doing things for them no matter what it costs. I always go out for my friends because I love them and don't want to see them get hurt. I love all my friends even if it doesn't seem like it. Sometimes when I am havening a hard time I tend to push them away and then I hurt them because I don't talk to them. To my friends that I have hurt you know who you are I am sorry for what is happening right now. I just need for you guys to give me the space I have asked for. I know that it is alot but I need for you to respect my wishes so that I can figure stuff out and work out what has gone wrong with our friendship. I want you to know that I do love you all please know that.
So what do you think a true friend looks like or how are they suppoes to acted? I have always wondered who God would defind true friendship? Who do you define true friends?
I love you all I am just asking for time to myself and time to work things out.

Why Do We Go To Church

That has been a question that has been in my head for a few days now. I have been asking myself why I go to church and I always thought it was because I believed in God but now I don't know why I go anymore. I keep asking myself why but i can't answer that anymore. I am so confused right now I am not sure of my faith and what the church says is true. I don't know if beign a christian is what I want. There has been to much going on in the church that has made me lose truths in the church. I don't know why I go to church anymore because right now I don't believe in God . I don't know if that will ever change. I have been living my life as a lie I am not living for Christ anymore.
In the last couple of weeks there has been an situation that has made me stop believing in God. I tried to fix something and I though that I did what God wanted me to do but it didn't happen that way.I feel like I have let God down and I have been doing that alot these few weeks. I don't know if God will be able to forgive me for what I have done. I know that I will never change. My life will always be a mess. I don't know what to do anymore becaues I just seem to always mess up and I am tried of that. I am tried of living a life like that.
All these questions keep popping into my head and I don't know what to do or how to get rid of the thoughts.
So my question is Why do I go to church if I live two different lives. I don't think it is right to be at church if you don't believe in God will that is what I think.

Words Have Power(watch what you say)

I never realized how powreful words colud be. I have always been that person who never really thought of what I say would hurt. Most of the time I don't think before I speak and then words come out and they end up hurting someone.
Last Wednesday I was atCariboo for a potluck and I had said something to someone not knowing that I had hurt her by what was said. I thought I was commenting her but it come out the wrong way and I felt so bad because it hurt her. I said something about a song she wrote but i had meant it in a nice way but come out as me being mean. She told me that I need to watch what I say because I could really hurt someone by what I say. At the end of the night I come up to her before I left and told her how sorry I was for what I had said to her. She said thank you and that she wasn't offened by what I sadi just that she was trying to help me and for that I am thankful. Karyn I am so sorry for what was said to you. I am going to do my best to speak encoruaging words olny from now on.
I learnt from my mistakes and an working on being that person God wants me to be. There's a saying that has been running in my head and that is What Would Jesus Do. From now 0n before I say anything I am going to think of that saying because it is so powerful to me.
Lately have been forgetting that God is a great healer. I have been losing faith in what I believe and in God and his healing power. I have seen all the healing he has done in other peoples lives but I have been doubting him.
Words do have power.
I have not been living my life as a christian should be because of so situations that have been going on in my life right now and I have been questioning why dose God allow all this to happen. Isn't he suppoes to be our father and love us. I don't understand why he dose allow all this crap to happen

What A Blast at Dinner

Last night was so much fun hanging with all you guys. I love all you guys so much and I don't want to stop hanging with you guys. I think we should get together more often like on the weeks.
Last night was something I really needed because I have been really depressed lately and stressed out about stuff. I had alot of laughts and alot of fun. You guys are all so cool and I love all of you so much. Thanks for the great time with all of you.

The wake of the Morning

I find it wried that most people when they getup think about what to hear and how to do there hair. For me this morning the first think that come to my mind was God and how I was going to please him. I don't know why that was on my mind, I don't usely think of God in the morning. I guess God is trying to tell me something and that is not to stop thinking of him no matter what we are doing through out the day.
Always remember to think of God through out your day, he should be the most important person in your live. God is trying to tell me something and that is never forget how your life belongs to. My life belongs to God and everything I do is only for him. I think of how he sent his son to die on the cross for my sins and that makes me want to spread his word even more and to bring others to know him.
There is a verse that has been in my head all night and I don't know why. Sorry I don't know why but I can't remember here it's from. The scriputre is For I have hinden your word in my heart so that I may not sin against you. I know that it's from Psalm. God wants me to remember that his word is the most powerful thing and that it is living and actived.
I have it passion and goal to go and save about 100 people but I don't know when I am to start this goal. To me that is one big goal for me but it's what God wants me to do and I only listen to him.

Testing of my faith

I find it funny that Satan tries to enter into our lives. For me I used to always fall into the traps that Satan put in front of me. Now that I am on fire for God everything I do is for him and I never do anything with asking him.
These last few weeks my faith was tested and I almost lost faith in what I believe in. I have been questioning some of the stuff in my life lately and started to doubt God's promises. Some of the stuff that I have been questioning is why does God put trails in our lives, why does he let us have pain, and why does God let us fight with each other when he wants ue to all get along. These are some of the questions that have been running in my head for along time.
When your faith gets tested don't fall away from God that is when you need him the most. The testing of our faith is the way God tests our relationship with him. It also is one way to show how commited we are to following God. My faith was tested and I have lost all that I have worked for like my relationship with God. I have fallen further away from him in these last couple of weeks. I have lost interest in reading God's word and in knowing what he wants of me.
I had someone this week say to me you call yourself a Christian and at that moment I said no because I have not been living aChristlike life and I have been letting God down by my actions. I know that God will forgive me but I don't deserve his forgiveness. Ihave done everything wrong. Our faith gets tested all the time.